Dad punishes 7-year-old daughter for stealing neighbor's puppy, doubles down on punishment after neighbor says their son lost the puppy: 'It's the principle, and she should listen to her father'

Advertisement
  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10417410048
  • 02
    AITA for giving my daughter's things back that were taken away as punishment? Not the
  • 03
    I'm 31 and my husband is 30. Our daughter is 7, and she found a puppy in the front yard and played with it. Turns out it belonged to our neighbors, who were looking for it. They accused her of stealing it, and my husband gave her extra chores. She refused to do them, saying she didn't steal the puppy.
  • 04
    The neighbors came to apologize a bit later, as their son confessed to losing the puppy on a walk when he took it's leash off. That's how it ended up on our yard.
  • 05
    I came home that evening and my husband explained this. He said she should be disciplined for not doing the chores. I said she was right to not accept unearned punishment. He said it's the principle, and she should listen to her father. I said I would rather die than teach her that she should lay down and accept mistreatment. We argued and he called me unreasonable. Aita?
  • 06
    NTA. . Discount_Mithral • 21h Supreme Court Just- [138] My bigger red flag here is your husband's actions through all of this. He took the word of a stranger over his own child, assigned a punishment based on a misunderstanding that was later cleared up, but refuses to lift the punishment and apologize for his actions toward your daughter. His arbitrary: she should listen to her father.
  • 07
    is the bigger red flag for me. He refuses to back down and admit when he is wrong and is keeping up with an unearned punishment he wants to double down on because she fought against it in the first place when it was wrongly assigned.
  • 08
    OP-please keep an eye on this, I'm not saying it IS CURRENTLY abusive behavior, but it's got the leanings of possible future abusive behavior. There is nothing wrong with punishing a child when they actually do something wrong, but there is everything wrong with not admitting to being in the wrong and refusing to apologize when needed. Your husband is an AH.
  • 09
    Etruscan Crustacean · 21h Maybe not abuse right now, but he is setting up his daughter to blindly follow male authority and any arbitrary consequences imposed. At the very least, it's creating a vulnerability.
  • 10
    Discount_Mithral • 21h Supreme Court Just- [138] Exactly. He's teaching her that anyone with power and authority over her shouldn't be questioned in any way. This is setting her up for a lifetime of unlearning problematic behaviors.
  • 11
    rak1882 20h • Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] Also, can we discuss whether this punishment was even reasonable. She's 7, not 17. even if she had somehow stolen the neighbor's dog- is the appropriate punishment for a 7 yr old be chores?
  • 12
    Ancient_List • 20h Over a dang puppy, a creature KNOWN to occasionally escape to make new friends. I feel like it is more likely for a rambunctious pup to go on an unplanned adventure than it is for the average child to commit breaking and entering. I've had animals come into my yard looking for playtime more often than children!
  • 13
    Outrageous-Second 792 20h Partassipant [1] Let's follow up on that logic. Since the father originally believed his daughter was guilty, the next question is: How did it happen? Why wasn't he aware that his daughter had left their property, gone onto another family's property, stolen an animal, and brought it back home, all without being seen? Either he wasn't paying attention to his child's whereabouts, or he knew his kid never left the yard. If he wasn't paying attention, OP needs to address th
  • 14
    HistrionicSlut • 19h $20 says that: He wasn't watching her, he realized she could have been hurt and in his anxiety anger, he knee_ reaction punished her. He couldn't take it back because the wife wouldn't go for it. And now he is stuck, if he doesn't push for punishment wife might take a minute and realize kid did nothing wrong.
  • 15
    myssaliss 20h • This is what I grew up with. Dad could never be wrong and any objections would be met with an immediate "don't talk back to me!". Now I'm a people pleaser and can't speak up for myself. Please don't let this continue to happen to your daughter. NTA at all. Obedience does not equal respect, and I still resent both of my parents for allowing it.
  • 16
    Merfairydust • 20h In addition I wonder if his reaction would have - been the same for a boy.
  • 17
    AuntTeebo 20h • I got into it with my husband one time years ago. My oldest son, (from 1st marriage), was maybe 12 at the time. Making a box of Mac n cheese for lunch for himself and little brother. When it came time to put in the butter, he did exactly what he'd eseen me do dozens of times... slice it up so it melts faster before pouring in cold milk. For some reason, husband took issue with him cutting up this little quarter stick of butter. Told him to just drop it in and stir it up and it wi
  • 18
    hubby got more irritated. I stepped in trying to explain he's just doing it how he's seen me do it, and trying to figure out why the it was such a big deal, like am I missing something that's wrong about slicing butter?? Turned out that husband got mad because my son didn't immediately do what he said. We had a reeeallly long discussion about that kind of attitude. Fortunately he learned his lesson on what is important to make an issue out of and what isn't. And slicing butter is NOT a major iss
  • 19
    lissabeth777 • 20h Children shouldn't have to bow in fear to their parents. And parents really need to pick that hill to die on and hopefully it's not stupid like slicing the butter or not. Parents need to take a step back and understand their kids are not robots.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article